Taking The Time To Connect


Feeling Disconnected? This phrase is often used discussing marital struggles, not only for unfortunate big problems like infidelity or abuse, but also as a general feeling of disconnectedness.  In a world where there are more ways than ever through technology to stay “connected” how is it that some couples find themselves feeling more disconnected than ever before? It doesn’t happen overnight, so it’s important to stay proactive and be aware of the things that can cause the connection to your spouse to break down.

While technology has made our lives easier, it has also made it more difficult to have boundaries that keep our home life and marriages separate from work, friends, and even other beloved family members. With our constant work emails, text messages and social media, it is easy for time with our spouse to be intruded upon and interrupted. As the years go by, add increasing work pressure and children to the mix, and before you know it a couple rarely has any time together. Having date nights is a good start, but if you aren’t intentional about being fully present by keeping the outside interruptions to a minimum, you could find yourself just being together without really being together. A great first step is to simply silence your phone or let family members and friends wait until the next day before calling them back. Turn your phone face down on the table while you are talking and try to maintain eye contact.

We are busier today than ever before. Rarely will people tell you they wish for more things to be added to their plate. With all these commitments taking up our time, quality moments with our spouse are usually sacrificed. When they say marriage takes work, this is what they mean: Make it a priority to make time for your spouse in a way that you can stay connected. Just like with working out, the time spent can be spread over the course of a day and doesn’t necessarily have to be in several hour increments. It could be as simple as a conversation before heading out to work each morning, eating dinner together, making sure you ask each other how the day went and actually listen to the answer. What is most important is the frequency and consistency of these moments, because all the little positive interactions do add up and help keep a marriage on solid footing.

Article by Bina Bird

Photo by Deux Boheme

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